


Ostrich Operation

by sierra451



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Annoyed Sam Wilson, Blow Jobs, Clint Is a Good Bro, Gay Sex, Getting Together, Kissing, M/M, Male Slash, Oblivious, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Oblivious Tony Stark, Oral Sex, Pining, fed up avengers, natasha is tired of your shit, natasha takes charge, pissed of clint barton
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-01-26 12:24:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1688258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sierra451/pseuds/sierra451
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Steve were in love with each other, only problem was they didn't know it. Or the one where the Avengers scheme to get those two idiots together before they raise the oblivious levels to insane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Clint

**Author's Note:**

  * For [missmeagan666](https://archiveofourown.org/users/missmeagan666/gifts).



> This is slightly Cap2 compliant. Winter Soldier happened but SHIELD is still up and running. Each chapter will be POV character. Rating is for future chapters, so are the tags. This will be multi-chaptered. I'd also like to thank missmeagan666 for requesting this! 
> 
> Also un-beta'd so any mistakes are mine. Critiques, comments or observations in general are welcome. 
> 
> That being said, enjoy my lovelies.

Chapter I: CLINT

Steve and Tony were madly in love. They spent every Sunday together. Usually waking up late, eating brunch, then they’d take a long walk through Central Park. They’d catch a movie after their leisurely stroll, then Steve would cook both of them dinner. Steve always ensured that Tony would always eat at regular intervals. He’d bring him food down at the lab or set up friendly reminders with his secretary and Happy. More often than not he himself would cook for him, making sure he’d eat plenty of nutritious meals. Tony in turn took it upon himself to catch Steve up on the past seven decades he’d miss on culture and movies. Tony would take him to the local art house cinema and show him famous films or take him out to do trivial things such as paint balling, laser tag and sometimes bowling. He even designed a special Steve phone. It was exactly like the latest StarkPhone, heck might be even better, except it was programmed to make it easier and more adaptable for Steve usage, reinforced materials so he wouldn’t accidentally crush it with his super soldier strength. 

Yep, those two were madly in love only problem was they didn’t know it. 

Clint didn’t know if they had just one too many head injuries or were really that dumb. I mean Steve was the only one who could get Stark out of the workshop with only a minor hissy fit. And Stark was the only one who could school Steve on the new century without getting him angry or hurt. 

Idiots, both of them. 

He sat on the kitchen island dipping his spoon into the bowl successfully getting more oatmeal. Steve was awake and was cooking breakfast on the stovetop. God, he was tired. He still had to go to SHIELD to brief for the upcoming mission with Nat. Eh, least maybe they’d get to pretend to be married. That was always fun. Nat really got into her role and would nag him to death and would be very affectionate in public. A smile spread across his face remembering the last married gig they did in Germany. God, that green outfit Natasha wore was fucking hot! Every man’s jaw dropped when she walked in. He felt so fucking smug when she reached him and she kissed his cheek. Eat your heart out motherfuckers. 

“Barton, it is way too early for you to creepily smile like that.” said Tony wandering into the kitchen. He was wearing his usual black tank top and baggy pajama bottoms and was barefoot. 

“Morning,” said Steve cheerfully giving him the widest whitest smile ever almost bordering on goofy. Idiots, thought Clint again, fucking idiots. 

Tony returned his smile just as strongly. Not using the fake Stark TIME magazine cover one but the genuine Tony the engineer with wrinkles softly crinkling around his eyes smile. “Morning, buttercup.” he muttered back. 

Steve handed him a cup of coffee and Tony took it and sighed contently smelling its contents, “ahhh, I love you.” Clint looked up at them then, surely they weren’t together yet. Clint’s pretty sure he would’ve noticed. He did notice Steve’s faint blush and his bittersweet look. 

“I’d say ‘thank you’ but I know you’re talking to the coffee.” replied Steve rolling his eyes. Tony simply gave him a smug smile as if daring him to do something about it. 

There was a beat of silence before he felt his pocket vibrate. 

“Barton” he answered professionally. 

“Mr. Barton I’m calling to notify you of the time change of the briefing today. Director Fury has been called to a meeting this morning. The briefing has been changed to one pm, sir. Please confirm your acknowledgement of this” 

“Acknowledged.” He answered tersely. Great he woke up early for nothing. I should text Nat before she gets out of bed. She’ll kill me if I let her wake up without needing to. She’s still nursing a bad shoulder. 

_[Meeting moved to 1pm.]_

He stood to serve himself some more coffee as he saw Steve serving the omelets. 

“What the hell is this?” asked Tony indignantly poking at the green stuff on his plate giving a look of feigned disgust. 

“Uh, food.” said Steve digging into his own plate that was almost double in portion size. 

_[Confirmed.]_ buzzed his phone. 

“This is not food, are you trying to kill me! What is this green stuff?” 

“It’s spinach, Tony. It’s an egg white omelet with spinach, onions, and tomatoes.” 

“Egg whites?” 

“It’s healthier for you.” replied Steve chewing a piece of buttered toast. 

Tony was still eyeing this food suspiciously. He put a small amount on his fork and sniffed it before he put it in his mouth. 

”The doctor said you have to watch your cholesterol.” said Steve matter of factly, now watching Tony’s reaction to the food. 

God, did they even realized they were so fucking married already, Clint couldn’t help rolling his eyes. He poured his cup and sat down again. Tony made a pleasant face at the flavors in his mouth, but upon noticing Steve’s and Clint’s attention on him he immediately settled on a grimace. “I suppose it will do.” he said dismissively already shoveling the next bite. 

Steve was eating heartily already adding more hot sauce to his eggs. Tony was tapping away at his tablet. And Clint was playing “Flappy Birds” on his phone. 

_”Sir, I have Miss Potts on the line for you.”_

“Hit me J!” 

“Tony, you do realize your meeting with the Japan Associates was forty minutes ago!” Pepper’s voice filtered through the ceiling. 

“FUCK!” yelled Tony. 

“LANGUAGE!” yelled Steve.

“Lucky for you, it was moved to tomorrow due to weather delays at JFK.” 

“Phew! What’s on the schedule today, Pep?” 

“Board meeting at one pm, and Tony I expect you to be there. Steve,” she paused for his reply. 

“Yes, ma’am?” Steve responded automatically.

“I expect you to get him there on time, please. You’re the only one he’ll actually listen to you. Well-” 

“How dare you! I listen to no one! I am a lone ranger. I fly solo.” piped up Tony. 

“-you and Natasha.” continued Pepper not deterred by Tony’s words. 

Tony’s face fell, “I’m sticking with Steve on babysitting duty, please don’t sic Natasha on me.” 

Clint snorted. He honestly had no clue why Tony was so afraid of Nat. Okay, well no he could see why any man who valued his balls would be scared of Nat. 

“Thought so,” said Pepper “I’ll see you later, boss.” 

“Later, Pepper.” replied Tony, he looked over at Steve to speak and was distracted by something. Steve was facing Tony so Clint couldn’t see what it was but he saw Tony reach over towards Steve’s face. For a second Clint thought he was going for an embrace. 

“You, uh, you got some sauce on your lips, Cap.” pointed out Tony, his eyes taking a darker hue and settling on something like lust and want. He stared at Steve’s lips for a little too long before Clint decided Tony Stark needed the biggest cock block ever. 

He cleared his throat and spoke “So guess we’ll all hang out till our duties call us back.” 

That cleared both of them out of their revere. “Actually I was going to the museum today, I’m not sure that’s really your area.” responded Steve trying to go for nonchalant but somewhat failing. 

“Nonsense I’m as cultured as the next guy. I’ll go with you guys.” 

“Actually I’m not going I got work to do.” interrupted Tony to a sad looking Steve. 

“But you said you wanted to see the exhibit last week.” 

“And I did, last week. Besides you were going to go without me anyway, and you still can. Besides you’ll have Katniss here for company now.” grumbled Tony putting his plates in the sink. 

“Yea but that’s only because today was the last day it was going to be open,” replied Steve trying to defend himself. “I didn’t want to interrupt your work schedule. I know how important it is for Pepper and Stark Industries for you to show up.” 

Tony scoffed, actually scoffed “Don’t worry,” he said dismissively “the world would keep spinning without me, Cap. I’m not that vital” 

Steve stood up from his chair and without missing a beat spoke “You are to me.” 

Uh, where they even talking about the museum anymore. Clint felt weird now, like he’d just intruded on his grandparents arguing or something. The conversation took a heavy turn and the air was now charged with tension with neither Steve nor Tony willing to look away from each other, each daring the other to lower their gaze first as if to concede defeat. Perhaps they were referring to Stark’s recklessness in the field which had landed him in the hospital too many times to count, yet had saved each of the Avengers more times than that, especially Steve. Everyone knew that going after Captain America earned you a front row ticket to a repulsor blast in the face. Likewise the ringing of Captain America’s shield could be heard by the first lackey going after Iron Man. 

The silence lingered and Clint idly wondered if he could sneak out without them noticing. By the way they were staring at each other he doubted they would. Maybe Natasha would like to hang? Or he could call Shayla from accounting and take her to brunch. She was nice and had a great ass. As he stood up to make his exit JARVIS broke the tension. 

_Captain Rogers I have a message from a Mr. Hoffman for you. Would you like me to read it out loud or transfer the message to your mobile device?_

“Who the fuck is Mr. Hoffman?” asked Tony first, looking at Steve slightly pissed and with a glint of jealously if Clint could decipher that look accurately. He’d only seen that look on Tony’s face when Reed or Bruce showed him up. 

“What? I can’t meet new people,” said Steve defensively to Tony’s questioning look. 

“Of course you can. I just thought I knew everyone you knew. With you being, a senior citizen and all it’s surprising to me you can even make it out of the tower without a walker let alone meet new people.” replied Tony.

Clint saw Steve’s face slightly falter into a small smile and saw him bite his lower lip in an attempt to lie. Steve was such a shitty liar though. Seriously Clint took him to the cleaners on poker nights. He doesn’t even know why he bothered to show up anymore. Thank goodness they never played strip poker, wait new idea for game night he had to write this down.

“He’s the curator of the museum. He volunteered to give me a private tour once the receptionist recognized me as Captain America.” Steve caved rubbing his hand down the back of his neck in a sheepish manner. 

“Okay, that settles it. I’m going.” stated Tony walking towards his room presumably to change.

Steve just rolled his eyes following him still talking. 

God those two needed to get their head out of their asses. Clint was just going lock them in a room with lube and condoms for the sake of his sanity. He wondered if anyone in the team noticed as well. I mean they had to, it was bordering on ridiculous and pathetic. He knew Thor had noticed for sure, last time he had asked Clint how long Steve and Tony had been together. Nat? Well he wasn’t so sure she was always so stoic and he had rarely seen her since she’d be working for SHIELD too. Bruce? He was still in India not due back for another two months. Sam? He had no clue he didn’t speak to the guy often, though he liked him enough. Mmmm. 

He stood and walked to his room to change as well. Passing Tony’s room he heard arguing voices again. 

“I’m not saying you can’t make friends. That’s ridiculous! I’m just saying you should be more careful.” 

“I am careful. What are you talking about? I just think everyone deserves a fair chance. Not everyone is going to stab me in the back for no reason”

“You’re a super hero that’s enough of a reason for some people. Look people will expect things from you, they don’t want Steve Rogers they want Captain America! And after that whole fiasco with Barnes I don’t want you to get hurt again.” 

Clint heard silence. He had heard what had happened with the Winter Soldier and Steve. It must of stung like a son of a bitch to have not only your best friend but the last remaining link to your past fight against you. From what he’d heard from Natasha, Barnes was ruthless. Not even blinking or flinching at Steve, almost as if he didn’t exist. That must of fucking hurt. And Steve was as adorable as a labrador puppy or a golden retriever how could you not fucking melt looking at his face. Sure him and Barnes were on good terms now but leave it to fucking Stark to poke at a bleeding wound! 

“Shit! I’m sorry Steve I’m so fucking sorry. That was fucking low. See I told you I’m scum.” He heard Tony say. 

Steve sighed, “You’re not scum. You’re just trying to be a good friend.” Ouch! Tony just got the ‘friend’ card. Clint decided he had heard enough and headed for Nat’s room. 

Fuck I hope she’s awake by now, he prayed in his head. He knocked softly and there was no answer. Another knock followed by a “Tash?”

Softly the door opened and he saw Natasha standing there in her pajamas motioning for him to come in. 

“Hello Kitty pj’s really?” he asked.

“Tell anyone and I’ll hurt you bad enough you’ll limp for a week.” she promised.

“Ooohhhhkkaaay.” 

“Is there a purpose to this intrusion, Clint?” she yawned. Even with almost zero sleep and crazy bed hair she still managed to look gorgeous. 

Clint sat on a chair and she took a small ottoman opposite him. 

“I’ve been thinking” 

“There’s a rarity” 

He glared at her. 

“Steve and Tony,” he began “have you ever noticed anything weird?” 

“Weird like how?” she questioned trying to better comprehend him. 

“Weird like, how they’re so fucking in love with each other but haven’t acted upon it and they are driving me fucking crazy with all this will they, won’t they shit that I feel like I’m living in a fucking soap opera half the damn time. Except its Cap and Stark and I actually want them to be fucking happy and its no longer funny or amusing its actually pathetic and sad.” He blurted out in one long breath. 

Natasha was staring at him with her lips tense and her expression unreadable. Then laughed actually fucking laughed at Clint. 

“Great just make fun of the guy who wants to help our friends, why don’t you?” he said folding his arms across his chest and looking at her waiting for her to regain her composure. 

“Of course I’ve noticed,” she said as she wiped tears from her eyes “you’d have to be blind not to see. I’m actually surprised Stark hasn’t made a move. That’s what actually convinced me he’s seriously head over heels for Steve. And Steve, well I’ve tried to set him up with every woman under the sun _and_ men when that didn’t work.” 

“Well it’s annoying and they should stop.” 

“Agreed its reaching levels of moron I didn’t know existed. I think I can figure something out.” she smiled in a way Clint would describe as maniacal on someone else but for some reason on Nat he interpreted as determined. 

“What do you want to do?” he asked almost eagerly. 

“Oh, you’ll see. First we need to get the team together sans Steve and Tony.” 

“They’re going to the museum this morning they’ll be gone.”

“Excellent gather the troops and we’ll meet in the living room in an hour.” She stood up and began walking towards the door with Clint in tow. He exited the room just as the two potential lovebirds were leaving Tony’s. 

Tony looked at Natasha up and down a quip on his mouth about her sleeping attire clearly on the tip of his tongue when Steve pulled him by the elbow and dragged him away. Tony pouted but let himself be manhandled. 

Oh yea, Clint smiled this was gonna be fun.


	2. Natasha

Natasha

Natasha considered herself a person of above average intelligence. Not Tony Stark levels of course, well maybe in spy terms. So when Clint asked her if she had noticed that Steve and Tony were in love of course she had fucking noticed! She had two eyes didn’t she? You’d have to be blind not to see the way those two looked at each other. Those two morons were as obtuse as it gets.

It all started when she tried setting Steve up with every female SHIELD agent she considered moderately attractive and good enough to date one Steve Rogers. When she noticed women weren’t exactly his cup of tea she moved on to trying to set him up with every male SHIELD agent she knew. Again he fidgeted, fumbled, and eventually said “no, thanks.” But after the fifth time she noticed he’d always look at Stark before he rejected her offer. As if wondering what a date with the famous playboy would be like. Or what he’d say to dinner and a movie with him. 

As much as she’d love to out Steve to Tony she knew he’d never appreciate it and it might actually derail the coupling process. So the next time she had a potential date candidate she made sure Stark was within hearing distance. 

_  
“Why don’t you ask Starks advice?” she prompted, secretly smiling._

_“What do you think Tony, should I give Raymond from accounting a try?” asked Steve slightly shy and looking hopeful._

_Tony scoffed, “That guy isn’t good enough for you, Cap!”_

_Steve’s face brightened up with that statement._

_“Actually Stark,” Natasha had interrupted “he’s been to MIT as well, graduated summa cum lade, practices Muay Thai regularly, and volunteers weekends at the homeless shelter and for meals on wheels.”_

_Tony’s face was ashen his mouth set in a straight line and he glared at her. Ha! If looks could kill. Natasha simply gave him the sweetest smile she was capable of._

_“I don’t give a shit if he’s cured cancer,” he said hotly “still not good enough for Steve. Nope he needs someone less, less….ummm less”_

_“Wonderful?” interjected Natasha_

_“Exactly! Less wonderful, wait what! No, I mean, uh” great Stark was fumbling for words now._

_Natasha gave him this look that said “smooth Stark, oh so smooth.”_

_“He’s just serving meals on wheels for Pete’s sake! Wouldn’t it weird him out to date a senior citizen when he’s supposed to be feeding them!” Tony responded indignantly looking more and more like a fish who’s gasping for breath._

_Steve meanwhile just looked from Tony to Natasha. Not knowing what to do or say. He’d hope that Tony would help him get out of the date. Well more than that if he were truly honest._

_“Look Stark if you’re so threatened by Ray why don’t you take Cap out instead?” asked Natasha subtly winking at Steve who now was getting suspiciously pinker and pinker and finding his shoelaces very interesting._

_“Because I, um I got work to do.” Tony fumbled. He was now looking around the area seeing who else was trying to eavesdrop. They were at SHIELD HQ and were standing in the hallway waiting for a briefing._

_“I can clear your schedule.” she said looking menacingly at Stark._

_“Ah! Stop that, don’t look at me like that it scares me. Look I know you can take down a man with your pinkie no need to brag about it.”_

_“So where are you taking Cap out?” she proceed undisturbed._

_“I never said I would I just said that-”_

_“Its okay, Tony,” Steve interrupted suddenly. He wanted to stop this conversation immediately. It was painful enough that Tony didn’t want him but even with a super spy threatening him he still didn’t want him. Steve wanted to crawl into a hole and die._

_“I’ll just go out with Raymond, he sounds like a nice guy.” said Steve smiling weakly._

_“What! No fuck that guy.”_

_“Tony.” said Steve in only the way he can say it._

_“Look sorry but he sounds like a dick, to be honest. He probably does that stuff to get dates! Look I’m charitable too I donate over a billion dollars a year to charities.”_

_Steve’s mouth hung open in shock._

_“Don’t look at me like that I’m a billionaire I can afford it.” chastised Tony but continued his rant, “I go to all those boring gala’s and suck up to Senators for charity. Nat is right I’ll take you out and we’ll have triple the fun than you would with Raymond.” Tony gritted out Raymond’s name._

Natasha wasn’t sure what they did on their date. I mean sure she could’ve deduced it or spied on them but she figured everyone deserved the right to privacy. Especially Steve Rogers and Tony Stark two of the most famous Avengers. 

All she knows is that they came stumbling in at three am from the elevator laughing so hard she thought Stark was going to suffocate, and loathed the idea of giving him mouth to mouth. They kept singing some sports song and laughed whenever someone asked them what song it was. 

Natasha thought they’d get together after that surely. But she underestimated the amount of idiocy possessed by those two. While that first date did bring them closer it didn’t bring them to romance territory. After that Natasha decided not to intervene and left them to their own devices. 

She thought she was the only one annoyed by them until Clint spoke up. Sweet, sweet Clint. 

He did plant an idea in her head though. Maybe if they planned and executed an idea as a group they could pull this off. She wanted to see Steve happy. And well Tony? He was a pain in the ass but deep down he was harmless. Plus she had seen what a mess he was after he had broken up with Pepper. She saw the way Steve had picked up the broken pieces and how he called Rhodey in for reinforcements. Natasha had seen enough, pain, suffering, torture and unhappiness to last a lifetime. She knew the value of happiness, genuine goofy face don’t care if my sides split laughter kind of happiness. And she wanted that, she wanted that for herself and she wanted that for her friends. She and Clint were complicated. They had to be in their line of work. If anyone truly found out what he meant to her they could manipulate her and Natasha hated being manipulated. She’s had enough of that for one lifetime. 

Still, she and Clint had found a mutual understanding that benefited them both. And if he sneaked into her room in the middle of the right or held her tight after a nightmare, well that was between them. 

Now they all sat in the living room around the coffee table trying to come up with a suitable plan of attack. If you’d told her a few years ago she’d be playing match maker to a genuine World War II hero and a playboy billionaire she would’ve laughed her ass off after she’d punch you in the throat. Now a days with the Avengers it was simply part of her life, like playing Mario Kart with a Norse God, and kicking his ass at it too.

She’d just finished her speech and was waiting for their responses. 

“About time we did something about it,” Sam spoke first “Steve’s been driving me crazy with those kicked puppy eyes he makes after Tony flirts with someone. I’m in. Whatever you want to do I’m in.”

“Barnes?” Natasha questioned

“Well first of all I think Starks a grade a dick! He’s rude, loud and annoying.” He stated honestly. He sat in the red couch the bright color contrasting beautifully with the metal color in his arm. 

“But,” he continued “he has also saved my life plenty of times, given me really good weapons upgrades and is possibly the only other person apart from Bruce who can understand the mechanics behind my arm. Yeah, I’ve seen the way Steve looks at him. And I know he makes him happy. I’ve been around Steve after their “hangouts” and he’s so happy it almost looks like he’s high. If I can keep that smile there permanently then I’ll try my best. I’m in.” he confirmed. Barnes was still relatively new to the Avengers team serving more as backup than on the team. Tony and Natasha had treated him dubiously when he first joined doubting his true intentions with Steve. Natasha had seen first hand the emotional damaged he had caused and wanted to avoid that again if possible. 

So they were all in; mission success. 

“Okay, ‘Operation Ostrich’ is a go.” said Clint.

Natasha glared at him. Children, she was working with children. 

“Why Ostrich?” asked Sam.

“Cause they both have their heads in the sand.” replied Clint.

“Anyways, first things first, we need a plan of attack.” continued Natasha unfazed.

“We could have someone flirt with Tony to get Steve jealous.” said Sam

“No good, Tony Stark flirting is like him breathing. He doesn’t even know he’s doing it anymore.” Natasha had been with him long enough to know that. Hell he still flirted with her even after she punched him in that gut that one time. The man was resilient she’ll give him that. 

“How about we get Steve to go on a date with someone?” suggested Clint. “I mean that’s how they got their first date wasn’t it? After Stark got jealous, maybe we can pull that off again and that could lead to something.” 

“Stark's jealousy is a good play. But Steve wouldn’t go for another blind date though, that’s the problem.” said Natasha. 

“He doesn’t have to know he’s on a date.” said Barnes. 

Natasha chuckled. Barnes was right they’d never get Steve to agree to a date, but if they all said they were going as a group and if some how they all mysteriously got a stomach bug well, that could work. 

“Barnes is right,” she said “here’s what we do we tell Steve we’re going out as a group and either ditch at the last minute or don’t show up at all. He’s so polite he’ll stay with them even if we cancel.”  
“Yea he will.” confirmed Barnes.

“Who do we set him up with? I mean you tried every SHIELD agent ever, Tasha.” thought Clint aloud. 

“Give me a sec.” she said. She had to get Tony Stark where it hurt, she knew whomever she got had to be as capable as he was, smart, self sufficient (at least monetary wise), physically good looking and well not as emotionally stunted as he was. That was one of Tony Stark’s greatest weaknesses. He was afraid of his feelings. That’s why he hadn’t approached Steve yet. And after the whole Pepper debacle well that left him even more scared. He also had commitment issues, so they needed to find someone who could potentially give Steve something Stark couldn’t. 

“I know just who,” she smirked “Anthony.” 

“Um, yea that’s the goal here.” said Sam in a ‘duh’ type of voice.

Her smirked widen into a smile. 

“Nat you’re scaring us.” said Clint, deliberately backing away a bit. 

“I mean Anthony Beckett he’s a renowned painter and sculpture artist. He’s just come off a divorce from his husband of four years and he’s back on the market.” 

“How do you know about this guy?” asked Sam suspiciously. 

“He dated my friend Jennifer.” She replied coolly. 

The others stared at her for a while. Not quiet believing she had normal friends. 

She threw her hands up “Alright, alright Jennifer is my hair stylist and likes to gossip.” At first that woman’s irritating chatter would drive Natasha insane, after the first session she’d vowed to never go to her again but after seeing how perfect she left her hair she decided to bite the bullet and keep going. After a while it felt nice to have a dose of such mundane normality that she kept going, even contributing occasionally to gossip about _the_ Tony Stark. 

“Anyway,” interrupted Barnes “I say we do this as soon as possible because their longing looks are annoying.” 

“Agreed.” said Sam and Clint in unison. 

“Let’s set something up for tonight,” said Natasha quickly whipping out her phone and texting Jennifer for Anthony’s number, then promptly texting Steve for dinner plans. 

“What about Tony?” asked Clint, “what are you we going to tell him?” 

“Nothing,” said Barnes “I’ll keep him busy with questions about my arm. If he tries to leave the workshop or gets antsy I’ll subtly threatened him.” 

Barnes was one crazy motherfucker, Nat liked him. “Then afterwards we’ll just casually ask Steve how his ‘date’ went, and see how things go from there.” she said. 

She just hoped he wouldn’t retreat into alcohol or the workshop pulling one of his little moody stunts. 

“Let’s remove all the alcohol from the Tower we don’t want Stark drinking himself into a coma if he gets too worked up over Steve’s date.” 

 

After that they proceeded to collect all the alcohol bottles from the workshop, lab, mini bar, and even Tony’s gluten free cookie jar which Natasha always knew he kept a small bottle of vodka hidden there. She collected it and took a small swig herself before emptying its contents down the drain. 

There now Stark wouldn’t be able to get roaring drunk. He’d still get moody and retreat to his workshop but at least now there was no possibility of permanent liver damage. 

Natasha then called Anthony and made plans for tonight. Oh yea things were going smoothly. She just hoped things worked out in their favor and that ultimately Steve and Tony wouldn’t be too mad at their interfering. Tony would get over it quick. Steve wouldn’t get mad but he’d be hurt for a little while, and that was worse. But she knew she was doing the right thing by them. 

I mean Christ, they were so married already it was a shamed they didn’t know it yet. The fun part of any relationship is the sex. Not that Natasha liked to dwell on her friend’s sex lives but damn it those two had to get together.


	3. Sam

Sam

Sam was in the game room when he heard Steve get out of the elevator. He walked to the doorway and stopped. Having done his duty of not showing up for Steve’s surprised date he was now curious how things were going to play out. Tony was sitting in the living room eating something out of a bowl and seated in the elevator’s direct line of sight. Sam knew Natasha was a master planner, but he was still wondering whether they could pull this off or not.

“Hey Cap, how’s it going?” Tony asked. 

“I ended up on a date tonight.” blurted out Steve awkwardly. Sam had to cover his mouth so he wouldn’t laugh and give himself away. God, Steve was too honest for his own good sometimes. 

“Oh, really?” asked Tony in an amused tone. Decisively turning on the Stark charm to a hundred percent, Sam almost scoffed. Stark really could be a charmer when he wanted to, it really was a miracle he hadn’t ensnared Steve yet. Especially when he knew the latter was already so googly eyes over Tony already. 

“The team canceled dinner and left me with Anthony,” Steve paused, Sam assumed Tony had made a questioning face at him, “he’s Natasha’s friend.” Steve continued. “Apparently he was informed that this was a blind date.” 

Tony was flat out laughing uninhibitedly at this point. 

“Tony,” Steve’s tone was frustrated and amused at the same time, “It’s not funny.” Steve’s words betrayed his voice which was teasing with a tinge of humor. “It was mortifying I didn’t know what to talk about for the first half hour.” 

“First half hour? How long did you stay?” questioned Tony grudgingly. 

Sam smiled. 

“Well he was interesting,” replied Steve in a tone Sam could only identify as guilty, “and he was lonely.” 

“Lonely? What do you mean?” continued Tony curiously. 

“He’d just got out of a long term relationship.” 

“Oh.” Tony’s voice was low and surprised. 

Silence fell upon the conversation now. And Sam was beginning to worry, they had also discussed quiet resignation as a possible reaction from Tony but honestly Sam hadn’t bet on that pony. Tony was loud and obnoxious and in your face. He was fire, he was vibrancy. He stuck out his tongue at Fury for fucks sake, and actually lived to tell about it. He challenged Thor to an arm wrestling competition once, but thankfully Steve walked in before Tony got his arm ripped off. Tony did not go quietly into the night, no siree. He flipped off the paparazzi. He grabbed a slice of pizza after a mission in the Iron Man suit. Hell, last year he added a specialized fog feature to the thrusters in his boots so when he flew he could spell things out. He had wished Pepper a Happy Birthday that year right next to the Empire State Building. 

“Have you taken your pill?” asked Steve quickly changing subjects. His voice held a hint of concern. 

“Not, yet mom.” teased Tony and Sam could only assumed he was rolling his eyes in exasperation. 

“Tony, you know what the doctor said. You have to take them on schedule.” 

The pills of course were pills that would help Tony’s system not reject his new heart. He’d taken out his arc reactor and had major reconstructive surgery around his chest cavity. Though he had several choices in the end he elected to receive a brand new heart. It’s been over six months and so far Tony’s body has taken it well. Steve was a worry wart really. 

He heard the tap run with what Sam could only assume was Steve filling a glass of water. 

“Here, take them.” 

“Where did yo-?” Tony began to question, “Oh my god! Steve don’t tell me you actually keep some of those pills in your utility belt or something? What the hell! Do you carry them around?” 

“Well I know you can forget sometimes,” stated Steve defensively. 

Married, so fucking married. 

“That is too precious Cap, not growing soft on me are you?” teased Tony, apparently not resisting the urge to do so. 

“Tony,” Steve let out a sigh, “I just want to make sure you’re okay. I want to take care of you.” 

Sam gasped, this is it he knew it. God he should’ve placed a bet. 

Again it grew silent and Sam was so tempted to stick his head out and see what was going on. 

Tony broke the silence this time, “So do you want to watch the Bourne Triology?” he asked. 

“Is that a spy movie?” Steve asked hopefully. 

“Yeah,” Tony cleared his throat, “yes it definitively is.” 

God, those damn movies. That was like Tony and Steve’s thing. All the other team members hated seeing those damn spy movies. Natasha and Barnes because the brainwashing thing hit a little too close to home he guessed. Clint well he preferred medieval movies or fantasy ones. Sam thinks it’s because he prefers to see a bow being used. Thor well he wasn’t around to often for movies and Bruce actually had an affinity for science fiction, he like to dispel all the pseudo science they used. And Sam, well Sam honestly didn’t care either way but he just figured those two would get together a lot faster without a third wheel during their movie nights. 

He sighed and walked out of the room. He saw Tony slurping the last bit of pasta and Steve sitting across from him basically eye fucking him. Ugh, nope his team mates fucking was not something he wanted to think about. Especially not boy scout hair so light and perfect might as well wear a halo Steve Rogers. 

“Hey Sam.” greeted Steve. 

“Hey” he returned the sentiment. Tony just smiled around his spoon and slurped loudly much to Steve’s amusement. 

“So how was your date?” asked Sam. Steve might be good at deflecting but Sam was as stubborn as he was. Plus he was scared as hell of Natasha and he wanted this operation to go well for all of their sakes. 

Steve visibly glowered “So you knew?”

“Of course I knew. Natasha kinda made us go along with it.” he admitted. “Can’t say I’m too bothered though, sounds like Anthony is a great guy.”

“He is.” Steve said to a glare from Tony. Seriously if his eyes got any smaller Sam was going to have to go Clockwork Orange on his ass to open those puppies up. 

“I mean he was interesting he was an artist. He showed me some paintings. He’s really good actually and he even went to P-”

“Showed you his paintings? What do you mean he showed you his paintings?” asked Tony setting his bowl down now interested in the conversation. Oh yeah Sam was playing them just like a fiddle. Suckers. 

“Well he kept talking about them and he said he studied in Paris and I got curious and he said he lived nearby,” Steve was stumbling over his words now looking flustered. 

“So you went to his place.” Tony finished Steve’s sentence. 

Steve nodded, “It was in and out I swear.” 

“Yea I bet he wishes he was in and out, _of you_.” Steve stared and Tony stared back forgetting that Sam was there entirely. 

“He just showed me his painting’s I swear.” Steve said quietly. 

“Hey don’t worry about it Cap, you’re a free agent you can do whatever you want.” Steve recoiled and Tony stood up to dump his dishes in the sink and Steve followed suit. 

“I mean if you’d rather look at his painting’s than stay at the Tower and watch movies with your dear old roomie who am I to tell you otherwise.” 

“I would’ve stayed to watch a movie with you, if you’d asked.” Steve answered right back. 

“And besides why wasn’t I included in this shindig?” pondered Tony out loud using air quotes around shindig. 

Sam was still in the living room but within hearing distance. He idly flicked thru the channels on the tv. 

“I don’t know, there was no ‘shindig’ just a set up. A trap.” 

“A date.” Tony corrected. 

“An unwanted one,” deterred Steve. 

“Well Nat’s been pretty stubborn about finding you a date,” Tony paused clearly taking time to think something through “maybe you should give this guy a couple more dates.” 

“WHAT!?” asked Steve, and Sam actually turned around at the panic in his voice. 

Tony waved a hand at Sam in dismissal and he turned back to the tv. Tony quietly shushed Steve. 

“Do you want me to date him?” asked Steve. 

Oh god, Sam felt really awkward right now. 

“Look all I’m saying is that it might be good to give Natasha something, get her off your back for a while.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yea, besides he might be funner than your other Anthony here.” Tony tapped his chest.

“My Anthony?” Steve’s mouth tugged upwards in a goofy smile. 

Tony groaned, “Come on, let’s just go watch the movie.” He prompted. 

“You still want to watch the movies?” asked Steve confused. Apparently with the tiny verbal spat Steve thought Tony would not want to see the movies with him. Which was silly really. 

“I’m always up for seeing Jason Bourne kick ass.” replied Tony nonchalantly. 

Together they walked out of the communal living area. Sam took his phone out and texted Natasha. 

_[Tony encouraging Cap to date. What’s our next move?]_

It was only a couple of seconds before he got a reply. 

_[SHIT! They are dumber than I thought. Let’s continue this angle though. Gimme a sec.]_

Sam did and he really hoped this plan would work. He hadn’t known Steve for as long as the others did but shit, he’d know that look of being hopelessly in love with someone anywhere. Steve gave Tony the moon eyes and he wasn’t so subtle with his looking at his back and then looking away, then looking at him again then looking away. Usually Sam would just tell someone to wake up and smell the roses! They’re never going to love you back, move on! Except that Tony did. He did love Steve back. He saw it in the way that Steve got his suit upgrades faster and better than anyone else. Saw it in the way he rented Coney Island for Steve’s birthday and even got special fireworks that said “Happy Birthday Capsicle” earning the widest grin and biggest laugh Sam had seen come from Steve. He saw it one day outside his window, his room was next to Steve’s in the Tower, so when Tony wrote “Wanna have lunch?” complete with a heart an arrow in his skywriting boots, after Steve was feeling particularly down. It was right after the Winter Soldier. So yeah they both very much loved each other. 

But those two were as stubborn and as hard headed as mules! 

_[Steve just agreed to another date with Anthony. Round 2.]_

Over the next week Steve continued seeing Anthony and each time one of the team members waited nearby to see the outcome. But Tony never threw a jealous fit. He never resorted to an alcohol binge or even to locking himself in the workshop. He’d simply asked Steve “how’d it go?” “what’d you do?” “did he feed you or you do you wanna do lunch?” “how’s he look?”. The answer to the last one of “brown hair with a goatee” somehow making Tony laugh so hard his rib hurt. 

Fuck. They were out of options. Sam had no idea how to deal with these turn of events. Natasha simply cursed in Russian and gave Steve and Tony the stink eye so hard that Sam thought she might set them on fire from sheer will. This was actually sort of hilarious because she mostly glared while sitting around the living area in her yoga pants and various cartoon tee shirts. The sight should have been hysterical but somehow Natasha still managed to reach creepy death glare level whilst eating yogurt. Clint just spent more time in target practice, only to keep himself from physically harming Tony and his idiocy. Occasionally muttering something that sounded like idiot under his breath when he caught on of their post date conversations. 

Barnes meanwhile never said anything, mostly because he wasn’t around to say anything at all. That didn’t change too much. From the time he first arrived at the Tower Barnes never stayed for too long. Sam always suspected it was because he still felt guilty about how much emotional and physical damage he had done to Steve. Coupled with the fact that nobody trusted him. He and Steve had worked through their problems of course. Mostly going on ‘friend’ dates and talking about the good old days. During their friend ‘dates’ Tony locked himself in the workshop. Sam suspected he was hacking into every surveillance camera he could to spy on them. He also thought Barnes went out everyday to acclimatize himself to regular life, but that was just a theory. 

The only true thing that changed from Steve first ‘dating’ Anthony was that now Tony and Steve pretty much watched movies nonstop together. They were always talking about movie nights and pretty much any spy movie known to mankind. Sam suspects they’re just using that as an excuse to spend more time together, but eh whatever gets their rocks off. I mean just because he never found popcorn particularly sexy doesn’t mean they don’t. 

_[Meeting in fifteen minutes in Sauna.]_

Great Nat was going to make them all have another brainstorming meeting. Here we go.


	4. Steve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting. Part laziness, part writer's block.
> 
> To makeup for it, have some porn. ;D

Steve

Steve was in his room sitting on the edge of his bed, head tilted back looking at the ceiling as the gorgeous brunette moved down to kneel between his legs. He had only met Anthony a few days ago but his life had changed quicker than he’d thought.

He felt the brunette work his zipper open and tug his pants down. Steve looked down and saw the bastard wink and lick his lips. God, how he wanted this. He lifted his lips a little letting him peel his pants and underwear down. He wasn’t hard yet, but he had no doubt he would be soon. 

Light kisses were being trailed across his pelvic bone and in the v shape leading to his crotch making his breath hitch and slowly becoming more and more aroused. The man ghosted his breath over his pubic hair and dipped his nose to inhale around it. Steve should have found it weird and disgusting but instead he found it sexy as hell. Groaning at the sensation the man’s breath was doing to him. Apparently not content with the noises Steve was making the man dipped lower and started licking Steve’s balls slowly making them shrivel from pleasure as his cock started filling up completely. He let out an obscene moan at the small licks he was receiving, and an even louder one when he took one of his balls in his mouth. He gripped the brunette’s head hard and pulled him to eye level for a quick and dirty kiss. “Please just get on with it,” he begged. 

“As you wish _mon capitan_ ” he replied before moving south again and settling himself between Steve’s thighs. 

He held the base of Steve’s cock and slowly drooled a bit over the head and shaft to make jerking him off easier. He slowly used the saliva and precome already gathered up to loosely move his hand up and down as he licked at the head of his cock. The first lick almost made Steve jump from pleasure. Happy with the reaction the brunette took pity on Steve and lightly sucked the head into his mouth making Steve’s breath become more and more labored. The man pushed his head down taking more of Steve’s cock into his mouth inch by inch. He stopped halfway and sucked moving up and down. Encouraging Steve’s hips with his hands on them and pulling them forward each time he went down. 

Gradually working himself lower each time and turning Steve into putty when he hit the back of his throat. Making himself relax and deep throat his cock. 

Steve was losing it, he really was. He was so lost in the sensations of heat, want, and tight, and oh fuck, the man beneath him was now humming. Jesus. Those vibrations were making him harder, if that was possible. He felt all the heat from his body begin too pool near his groin. But Steve didn’t want to come yet, he wanted to keep going. The brunette pulled off with an obscene _plop_ sound. And Steve almost blew his load then and there, seeing the man flushed with his lips swollen from sucking on Steve’s cock and some saliva running down his chin. It was the most erotic thing Steve had ever seen. 

“Are you going to come?” the man asked. 

“I, uh, yes.” admitted Steve sheepishly. “But I wanted to last a little longer.” 

The brunette smiled and began loosely jerking Steve’s cock up and down and up and down. They stayed like that for a couple of minutes before the other man broke the silence. 

“You can you know.” he said.

Steve had to work to get himself out of the sex fog enough to ask “I can what?” 

“Come,” the brunette replied “in my mouth.” 

“Oh, god.” Steve said “Do you have any idea what you do to me when you say things like that?” 

The other man simple responded by bending down once more and sucking Steve’s cock hard, starting a fast rhythm making Steve moan hard and put his hands in the back of the brunette’s head. Steve was too far gone to resist his impending orgasm. He came with three small thrusts and the brunette swallowing around him milking his cock. His cock was shrinking back to normal when the man finished cleaning any come that might have dripped off. 

Steve was boneless. Steve was flying. Steve was lying down on his bed feeling sated. He worked on getting his breathing back to normal when a thought occurred to him. The other man hadn’t come. Fuck. How could he be so selfish? He lifted his face to see the brunette now fully naked and crawling on the bed on all fours towards him. His cock almost an obscene color bordering between red and purple with need. He straddled Steves hips and kissed him deeply.

“You haven’t come?” he asked, though he knew the answer. 

“Nope,” he replied “I have better plans for that.” 

He stripped Steve of his shirt and once they were both fully naked he turned around so that his back and ass was facing Steve. Went down on all fours again and Steve blushed at the sight before him, feeling his cock twitch once more. The brunette had prepped himself and had a butt plug. His dark ridged hole stretched almost obscenely over the thing. And before Steve could help himself he leaned down and licked its sides causing the brunette’s breath to hitch. 

“Fuck, Steve.” the other man cursed. Steve brought his hand to the plug and twisted the thing a bit before moving it out halfway through and pushing it back into the man. Making the man moan in anticipation as Steve’s cock started hardening once more. The fact that his bedside partner had prepared himself for him was almost too much for Steve. Thinking about how long he had to walk around with the butt plug in. Had he walked funny? Would people have noticed? God, he took the damn thing out and stuck his tongue in, reveling in the fact the other man was pushing back effectively thrusting his asshole into Steve’s face. 

He felt a slick hand begin to jerk his cock. Where had he gotten lube from?

Steve really could’ve cared less then. He used his two hands to spread the man’s ass cheeks and get a better leverage as he happily sucked his hole. Licking around it and sticking his tongue inside wiggling it back and forth and adding a finger around it. It was a good thing he could hold his breath for a long time because right now the man on top of him was doing his best to smother him with his rear as he continued to stroke Steve’s cock. He kept working his hole until he felt the other man trembling. He slowly urged him down his body and the man took his cue and positioned himself above Steve’s cock, lining up the head with his hole. 

Steve was sweating in anticipation and shut his eyes as the man lowered himself on his cock, engulfing Steve in tightness and heat, squeezing his cock perfectly as he settled himself fully. He breathed in and out around the sensation surrounding him. The brunette lifted himself up then down again, and again. Together they set up a steady rhythm and Steve was writhing with pleasure. Not only was the sensation out of this world but he could see his cock go in and out of the man on top of him making him groan and unfurling something primal within him. Making him think words like _yes_ and _mine_ and Steve knew it was too soon in their relationship. Too soon, but he couldn’t help it. 

The man bouncing up and down on his cock was moving faster and the heat was building between them, before long the man was clenching tight around his cock and he was coming for the second time. He felt rather than saw the man climb off him and settle next to him in bed. Both panting and tired. Steve was so high on endorphins he tried to say ‘thank you’ or mumble something coherent. 

“God, that was, uh, that was. Uhhh god.” smooth Rogers, very smooth. 

The brunette next to him smiled and propped himself up on one elbow looking down at Steve who was still pretty much horizontal. 

“No, not god just Tony.” He said smiling and giving Steve a sweet kiss. 

Steve blushed, which was silly of course. Less than fifteen minutes ago he had his tongue in Tony’s asshole yet one goofy grin or smile from the billionaire man turned him into putty. 

“So...” began Tony. 

While Steve just stared at his lips and face. 

The genius clearly seeing Steve distracted. “So…” Tony tried again. 

“So?” questioned Steve. 

“I think we should tell the other’s soon.” Steve tensed a fraction of a second before relaxing. Keeping things quiet had been both of their ideas. Tony because he was afraid he’d fuck things up and Thor and Natasha would “chop his balls off for hurting Captain America” and Steve because he wanted to have time for themselves. So much of their lives were public. The photoshoots, charity events, interviews, hell even SHIELD pried into their lives. Keeping files on all of them. 

They loved and trusted their teammates but this was something that they wanted to keep to themselves, at least for a while. 

That didn’t mean that things weren’t hard. It was hard not to stare at Tony’s mouth when he spoke in meetings now that he knew how he tasted. Coffee, salty and exactly like Tony. It was hard not to look at his ass when he knew exactly how it looked bouncing up and down Steve’s cock. It was hard not to feel his heart skip a beat when he saw his crazy bed head in the morning knowing he’d put it there the night before. Still, they had been so careful. When Steve ended up on a date with Anthony last week he was afraid that Tony would lash out or throw a tantrum, but he hadn’t given him enough credit. He gave Steve the thumbs up to be his friend and after Steve had made his intentions totally and completely clear to Anthony they started hanging out. It was fun to have a friend who was as into art as he was and Tony found art absolutely dull, unless Steve was talking about it of course. 

Tony even started sleeping in Steve’s bed after that and finding more excuses to hang out together. He even enlisted JARVIS’s help with a proximity alert. Letting him do things with Tony such as hold hands around the Tower or sit in each other’s laps on the couch. Untangling limbs and fingers as soon as JARVIS spotted the others. 

“Yea?” he asked hopefully. Steve was tired of hiding his feelings towards Tony. He wanted to kiss him good morning in front of the others. He wanted to ask Ms. Potts for Tony advice without violating their secrecy. Though Steve thinks she suspected that something was up between them. She wasn’t so subtle with her pointedly looking at Tony then sneaking glances at Steve sitting on the workshop couch sketching and humming. 

Steve was also afraid of Bucky. Though he’d long confessed his desire for men to his best friend, Tony and Bucky were so hard to predict. Clashing as often as they palled around. 

“Yea,” confirmed Tony “Sam told me he was going to set you up on another blind dated. We gotta move fast. Only I can ogle my man.” He gave Steve a kiss at the base of his throat blowing cool air across the smooch making Steve get goosebumps. 

He tried to fight his smile but he couldn’t. He was finally going to be able to have a full normal relationship with Tony. No more hiding or sneaking around. No more fake spy movies that they’d have to ‘watch’. To this day Steve still doesn’t have a clue as to who or what Jason Bourne is. Usually ‘spy movie’ was code for sexy time or date time for him and Tony. Usually an ‘old spy movie’ meant a date since none of the others had the patience to explain to Steve about the past. The first time they saw a spy movie he saw James Bond using a huge brick eighties mobile phone only Tony was patient enough to explain the history of the cellphone and its evolution. The whole team had groaned the entire time. Especially because Tony went into techno babble which prolonged the conversation further. Therefore older spy movies gave them plenty of time to have a date as they could use the excuse of pausing and explaining then playing again only to pause again five minutes later. 

Newer spy movies meant booty call plain and simple. Wham, bam thank you ma’am. Er, sir. 

It helped that Tony was in charge of surveillance and security and that he had JARVIS. Plus Tony had a secret elevator only he knew about. Oh, well Steve now too. Usually Steve wore a cap to Tony's amusement and Tony bribed people to keep quiet. More often than not they went to hole in the wall places where no one would notice them or they'd end up in one of Tony's restaurants where they could use the backdoor. 

Still now they could be honest and it would be freeing. He grabbed Tony and pressed him against his chest kissing his hair. They’d face this together soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all liked the reveal. :P


End file.
